Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Story 2 Roughs_Updated but not finished.

Hey everybody! Here's some stuff I added. I have a plan for one more big gag, though I'm not sure what yet, and then his wife comes out and leave him broken and virtually un noticed. I have to sign out now, but I'm going to continue working on these when I get into work tomorrow at 9am. I don't do much other than answer phones.

Wendell, please let me know if you want me to start cleaning these boards up with a character design in mind, or if you were still planning on doing that. I'll be close to my phone and my email tomorrow, so just let me know!

-Kathy McNeal


  1. Hey Kathy,

    Alex, Tony and I are going over your boards and we have a couple notes.

    - cut the commercial scene, I think we can start at the 5th panel and we hear the persatron commercial in the background.

    -when the wife asks for her pills, maybe keep him fixated on the TV while he reaches over at the purse (maybe he forgot his wife has the persatron). I think that gives him and the purse a little bit more personality, rather than him preparing to fight the purse.

    At first glance it looks like you don't really give the purse a chance to show its security system, and it doesn't have opportunities to build up the gags. We think it needs to show the purse activating its security system, rather than the two of them just jumping right into the fight.

    -We like how you indicated the futuristic furniture, but we think you should push it a little bit more and make it clearer that this is the future. (look at the jetsons and replicate that)

    -Also I know you aren't finished, but when you are doing the Gag's think of the rule of 3's, each gag getting progressively more intense/ridiculous/stakes are being raised. But we like the ending you have planned.

    -I don't have a character design in mind, but take a look at the style reference i posted earlier and be inspired by that. Keep it simple sister.

  2. Okay, I'll get to work on those changes and work to make cleaner boards. For showing the security system activation, my instinct is to do a closeup shot of that, but I know you guys want to keep it to one background, so I'll try to figure out a way to show that and keep it side paneled.

    I'm going to take some time to watch the Jetsons to get a feel for simplistic future furniture, and I'll try to have the purse to unexpected ideas.

    I'm right with you on the note of what the purse does, and I agree about raising the stakes. At the time I drew them I wasn't impressed with them and they were more placeholders until I could think of ideas that were actually good.

    I'll do what I can to produce a nice finished product before it gets too late tonight, so you guys have a chance to put it together in an animatic if you want. I'll work on making sure the beats are in first, then go into more detail if I have time. Biggest thing is we have a beginning middle and end.